Burning out. (Any breeders have advice?)

[Fatal_S]

This is my third year producing babies. I love my animals, I love breeding, I love my customers, and I love seeing my babies in their new homes. But I'm burning out, and I'm about ready to throw in the towel.

I'd like to say I'm burning out because my life is busy. And it is sometimes. But I felt the same last year, and the year before; I feel like I'm constantly falling behind. There's always so much that needs to be done, and I constantly feel like I'm failing. I get nightmares about neglecting my animals, and I'm constantly stressed over everything that I still have to do. Honestly, if I can't get this under control somewhat, I'm not going to be able to keep breeding; it's driving me nuts.

And so I'm here to ask, how do you bigger breeders handle everything? Some of you guys/gals produce way more babies than I do. How do you manage to keep constantly feeding/cleaning/watering the babies? How do you deal with dozens of potential customers at a time, all of whom have tons of questions, and some of whom seem to need to talk to you every 30 minutes or they think you've forgotten about them? How do you fit it all in around work and your family life?

Any tips, tricks, or rules of thumb would be greatly appreciated. Including from non-breeders who just have some suggestions. I'll take any advice I can get at this point.

Many thanks,
Melanie

[Richard.C]

i normally dont go out of my to sell any,so dont have that stress

when i had beardies and a few dwarf monitors it got tiring fast trying to find them all homes,the beardies i just stopped incubating eggs and ive cut back on dwarf monitors to just my original pr of gillens

having some time off breeding blueys is an option to,can always just do the odd pairing or even have a season or 2 off and come back to it later

[Scotts1au]

Take a break from breeding, downsize and/or just focus on your favourite animals. My thing was just to specialise on Alpine Blotchies and just get enjoyment from that, then it isn't so much work.

Scott

[Scincoides]

I think anyone with an abnormally large collection feels this way from time to time. I do right now as a matter of fact. It helps to take some time to just relax with your favorite animal, try to focus on how much you appreciate the species, and try to remember what made you want to do this in the first place. I didn't breed over half my animals this year because I felt like I needed some time to spend with my family. You can't lose focus of why you decided to keep the animals in the first place. Take next year off. Focus on yourself and spend some time with your loved ones. Its allot easier to deal with the stresses of a large collection when you have some time off every once in a while.

[Susann]

Yup, time off.
And in no way is that failing!

I have a feeling you are a type 1 personality. If you don't give something your full attention and the best of care, you will feel like it wasn't done right, and you will feel guilty, like you failed someone/something.

Which means, for your sake, that you need to decide on what in your life is the most important. And from the way you are feeling I can tell that your skinks aren't #1 or #2 on the list. And that's PERFECTLY FINE!
But until you feel less stress and guilt in your life, you need to make any and all cutbacks from everything except #1 and #2 on your list of priorities.

So here are my suggestions as far as your skinks and your skink-business:
1) put your husband/partner and family in the #1 spot. That means, unless it is vitally important, you need to stay away from everything that affects your relationship(s) negatively.

2) if you are in school, studies need to be #2, otherwise, unless you win the lottery, work/making a living needs to be #2

3) you make a statement on your website that you are taking a year off from breeding, and due to circumstances in your life you need to concentrate on other areas for a while and will not be able to personally be in touch with people, and refer to bts.org for any information and questions. You send a message/email to people who own your babies and explain that you are taking some time off, and refer them to these forums.
And don't you dare apologize! If you do, you will unconsciously reinforce your thoughts and feelings of failure, and this is in NO WAY failure. You are not letting anybody down! You are concentrating on #1 and #2, and what on earth is wrong with that!? NOTHING! We will take care of anybody who comes on this site for questions or help.

4) under no circumstance do you even consider breeding for at least one year! The only reason you should even entertain the thought would be if you win afore-mentioned lottery and can hire help to care for your animals. No exceptions!

5) consider relocating some of your existing adults, temporarily or permanently. Remember, ALL your energies need to go to #1 and #2, and unless you can relocate one/some of them (#1 and #2 that is) you need to do everything in your power to cut back on everything that comes below #2. And there is NOTHING WRONG with that either!

6) Remember with your remaining skinks that they really do not NEED attention more than once a week as long as they have water. So I would say, put your husband in charge of making sure they have water, and you are only allowed to do any kind of maintenance/care one day a week. SERIOUSLY! You can cuddle/play, but you may not even spot clean. Your skinks will in no way be hurt or negatively affected by this, and you know it!

LAY OFF THE GUILT! Learn to appreciate the things you do well, and stop beating yourself up over everything else! As long as you are concentrating your efforts on #1 and #2 then you are doing everything exactly right and the way you are supposed to.
...and also, consider coming down to Susann's guestroom-inn for a week where you are not allowed to do anything but sleep and eat, in that order!

And if you feel bad about doing any of those things, you just let me know and I will have Merauke Mama come up there to

Now that I've solved all your problems let me know if I can help in any other way. And I mean that too ...except for the solved all your problems part...

[Lea]

I can't speak from a breeding perspective, but I can empathise with the bad dreams and worry. I get a recurring dream that all my shinglebacks somehow get killed and knifed to my back fence, like a cult ritual! I think it's partly because they live outside and I have separation anxiety from them not being under the same roof with the windows and doors locked. Every time it happens, I have to dash out in the garden, even if it's 3am, just to make sure! It's ridiculous that it would happen, but still, in the moment, that anxiety is ridiculous and very real, too.


Just know in your heart that you do everything possible to give your animals the best care and nothing you do would cause them any kind of harm, ever! You are a fabulous person, mel, with a great heart. If it means a break from breeding to help you rediscover your brilliance, then go for it, but whether you do or don't, your animals are undoubtedly getting excellent care from you and no bad dream or panic can take that away from them.

[jasjmm27]

I don't do much breeding due to the nature of my collection, but I have been feeling the same way these last few years...

This year is worse given some animals that have passed this year in my collection an others. I just feel like it is overwhelming and I never feel like I am taking good enough care of my animals...however much I love and enjoy them! It just seems like I can never do enough to keep the animals as well as I would like to and that eats at me.

I think the answer is to take a break first (from breeding if you can) and downsizing to a more manageable and "pamperable" level second, at least for me. I also have many other things happening in my life that are affecting my collection...so, that is pushing in that direction as well.

Good luck with your decision...just don't ever feel like you owe anyone else any of your time for animals sold to them, you didn't sell them a subscription...you can refer them to this site and they can get all the answers they need from here. Get to their questions when you can...just get your life and other things in order to make it feel less overwhelming...blue tongues are very forgiving for "breaks" like this, you can give them all the care they need in minimal amounts of time and minimizing your collection to a more manageable level will also help that.